Beyond blogging

Outlandish tips for the “imperfect” honeymoon…

Since you have already pretty much memorized all the “important” tips for your “perfect”, typical, traditional, classic, archetypal, boooooring honeymoon, we would like to share with you a little piece of advice from the travel philosophy archives of BTI. Follow them and you will see how refreshing life can be when you mix awareness and uncommon sense:

Da CELL.- No matter how many apps you’ve downloaded, how little you pay for phone calls from abroad, or how empty you really feel without your best inanimate friend. Just give your smart friend a little vacation time. You gotta take it with you, of course you do, you may be looking at an adventure but adventure without your friend it would be dementia, not adventure! So, take it with you, but place it inside your emergency kit, along with the Imodium tablets and the sewing kit. That means, you use it as you use the Imodium, ONLY when you really, really, really need it. And no, there is no reception in the Amazon, so look for another lame excuse if you cannot stay one more day without checking on your beloved.

Don’t take pictures.- Please, just this time, refrain yourself from trying to immortalize everything you see. Stop being a slave to Instagram, Facebook and the others. I know you have pledged unconditional obedience to the wheels of progress BUT you can do it, believe me. Every time you see something worth a pic, take a deep breath; then slowly observe it, smell it, taste it, listen to it, touch it (unless it is illegal to touch it, you know what I mean). It you really wanna have a good time, then get lost in the moment, otherwise you will end up collecting a bunch of images without even realizing what was going on when you took them. Pictures are not reality, get it?

Avoid known eateries.- Guys, guys, unless you are in Italy, don’t look for pizza for dinner. You are hundreds, thousands of miles away from home, this is LIFE, goes fast you know, so look for a nice place where they serve local or regional cuisine and give your taste buds something they can also reminisce when they are back at the Cheesecake Factory. By the way, don’t eat on the streets, it is really cool I know, but there are many other ways to mingle with the locals without having to condemn yourself to a bathroom for the following three days…and nights. I warned you but you’ll probably do it anyway because you are so cool…you’ll think of this blog, you will…

Set up your common sense radar.- Be cool, be casual, be inquisitive, be friendly, be in the exploring mood, but please don’t be so naïve. If you never go to a dive in your hometown, why on earth do you think it is cool to go to a dive in Cape Town? Enough said, I hope.

Don’t plan all details, PLEASE!!! What on earth is a vacation if you have already planned every single move since you leave your digs. And no, I am not talking backpacking honeymoon here. The lowdown, book the essentials…
– A gorgeous, intimate, romantic hotel – SURE
– Airport transfers – WHY NOT?
– One or two mandatory excursions – YEAH, what would people say back home if you hadn’t seen the Eiffel Tower? In case you care about what people say, that is… …and then stop planning, worrying, reading, informing yourself, etc, etc. Just flow and glow. Why? Because you have to observe how the journey unfolds in front of you, your eyes must be looking around and not fixed on your IPhone…wait a minute…are you using your emergency device in a non-emergency situation? This is what I am talking about. In order to explore, to know where you want to go, what you want to do, you need to be aware of your surroundings, not your devices. Understood? Cool, let’s continue.

Plunge into the unknown, feel uncomfortable. Once you set up your common sense radar and have left plenty of unplanned time to spend, do go out and delve into the local scene. Put on your laugh-at- myself suit and try to mingle with the surroundings. Try to communicate, feel embarrassed, uncomfortable, totally out of place, at least once or twice during your trip. If you do it, you will feel a tremendous freedom which comes from letting go of so many patterns you continuously perform. You will never do it at home so this is your chance; don’t come back without some truly embarrassing time.

Have a genuine good time!